The Tragic Death Of Macaroni And Cheese
by HeadGirl1
Summary: She threw a pot at me! Why did you throw a pot at Draco? He hit me with a pan! oneshot


Jesykah McCloskey

September 13, 2006

Assignment # 1

_**THE TRAGIC DEATH OF MACARONI AND CHEESE**_

He was sleeping when it happened, peacefully slumbering and dreaming away within the recesses of his own mind. He rolled over and smiled into his pillow, relishing the quiet. He was perfectly content with staying in bed as long as he possibly could.

"Stop it!"

"Don't tell me what to do!"

"Turn down the radio!"

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"

Of course, not everybody gets what they want.

Harry Potter stirred, rolling over and slamming a pillow over his head to block out the screaming of his two comrades out in the living room of 12 Grimmuald Place. If he just waited a few more minutes, Remus or Mrs. Weasley would take care of it. They didn't like yelling.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!"

"Get back here you big baby!"

Harry scrunched his face up, dreading having to get out of bed and go break up the fight before something or, God forbid, _someone_ was broken. It fell quiet for a moment and he sighed, relaxing back into his bed, only to bolt up and fall out of his bed a second later when somebody started screaming. He moaned in irritation and untangled himself from the blankets, getting up and stomping out of the room.

"What the _hell_ is going on?!" he shouted, finding Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy engaged in what looked like a fight to the death. He grabbed Draco by the back of his robes, yanking him away, while whipping out his wand from his pocket and casting a hovering charm, bringing Hermione to about waist height.

He glanced incredulously between the two teens, marveling at the look of fury on each of their faces. He released the charm and dropped Hermione in surprise as they both looked at him and started shouting and screaming their story.

"I WAS JUST TRYING TO MAKE-"

"-AND THEN SHE CAME IN AND-"

"-AND ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS-"

"-AND SHE WAS TRYING TO-"

"-NO I WASN'T YOU LITTLE-"

"AND IT'S ALL THEIR FAULT!" Harry only managed to get the last line in as they both stopped their tirade and shouted the blame onto the other at the same time.

Harry blinked and let go of the two, running a hand through his black hair. "Okay," he said slowly, "Now that I'm bleeding from the ear…" The two petulant teens glared at him and crossed their arms, then glared at each other as they inadvertently mimicked the others actions. Harry shook his head and turned to the taller of the two, tucking his wand back into his pocket, taking in his disheveled appearance. "What happened?"

Draco made a noise of annoyance pulled on his robes, trying fruitlessly to straighten them out. "Well, I was just minding my own business-"

"TELL THE TRUTH YOU LIAR!" cried Hermione in outrage.

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" he screamed back.

They lunged for each other once again, but Harry quickly stood between them and kept them apart. Hermione attempted to throw a punch, and although she fell short of hitting the blonde, she managed to punch Harry in the side, resulting in him letting out a pained groan and glaring at the brunette. It really shouldn't have hurt all too much, but this particular fist had multiple rings on. "Hermione Jane Granger, tell me what _really_ happened, and if you punch me again, you'll regret it."

"She threw a pot at me!" exclaimed Draco from behind him, interrupting his interrogation of Hermione.

Harry turned. "A pot?" He narrowed his eyes, running them over Draco's body, searching for some sort of damage. "Did it _hit_ you?" He rolled her eyes. "Don't you roll your eyes at me, Draco." Draco rolled his eyes again, deliberately ignoring him.

"Of _course_ it didn't hit me, you nit."

Harry sighed and ran a hand over his face. "It's too early to deal with you two," he said, "Where is Lupin? Where is Ron or Ginny? Where did everybody go?"

"They's all in Berlin, you idiot," Hermione said scathingly from behind him.

Harry blinked. Oh right. The early morning tiredness did nothing to help his memory. They had all left for Berlin several days ago under the guise of a top secret mission, but Harry knew they just wanted a vacation. So of course they can't take Hermione or Draco on vacation with them, that would cause more anxiety than anything else, but they couldn't leave them alone. So they tricked Harry into staying, leaving him to watch the Devious Duo. "Right. Right, I knew that." He blinked again and swiveled in his spot to look at Hermione in alarm. "Why did you throw a pot at Draco?!"

"He hit me with a pan!" she exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger, one adorned with a fat metal ring with a ridiculously sized gem embedded in it, at Draco, who had painted a perfect look of innocence on his face, before he couldn't keep it up any longer and it melted away.

Draco rubbed his hands together in a truly evil fashion, complete with an evil genius cackle. "We were cooking. There was a fly. Fly on Hermione's back. Smash fly with pan." Draco's eyes gleamed mischievously as he cackled again.

Harry raised an eyebrow at his caveman like talking. He let it go, though, seeing asthat would be the most maturity he would get out of him. "Okay Tarzan, next time, use a fly swatter. Aren't you guys a little old to be _still_ hitting each other with cooking accessories?" He then stood up, an apprehensive look on his face, almost as if he wanted to ask, but didn't want to know the answer because he just knew it would be potentially upsetting. "Do… do you guys smell something… burning?" he asked, wincing at what he knew was coming. Hermione and Draco both looked at each other with distressed looks on their faces, shrieked, and ran back into the kitchen in a frenzy.

Harry raced after them, grabbing the back of their clothing and yanking them away from the stove as they attempted to pull the flaming pot away from the burner. The-Boy-Who-Lived hastily pulled his wand out of his pajamas pants pocket, putting the fire out, fanning a hand through the air and coughing as black smoke filled in around his head.

When the smoke cleared, he saw the two seventh years holding each other, sobbing and blowing their noses into tissues. "Not the macaroni and cheese! Why did it have to be the macaroni and cheese?!" Draco shouted in despair.

"I'm sorry I threw that pot at you!" Hermione sobbed.

"I'm sorry I hit you with a pan!" Draco cried back.

There's nothing like the tragic death of macaroni and cheese to bring two rivals together.


End file.
